Why Everything Feels So F#cked — And What To Do About It
- Andrew Patterson
- May 29
- 5 min read
There’s no denying the pain in the world right now — and no one is exempt. Thanks to technology, we can’t escape it either. But you clicked through because you want to learn why and what you can do…
Recently, while walking to work, I asked myself:
How many things are there that just one person has to overcome?
My interest was piqued.
So I started making a list — a list of everything I believe we, as human beings, have to contend with as we try to understand ourselves and coexist with each other.
Trying to figure yourself out takes a lifetime. So I hope to provide more context to the phrase “everyone’s different” — maybe it’ll cultivate empathy. And even a little awe.
If we can grasp just how many layers there are to one person, maybe we’ll meet each other with more compassion and patience — and learn to extend that to ourselves, too.
The 6 Categories of the Human Experience
Use these to identify which areas may be contributing to your stress or confusion — and where to begin the work.
1. Origins & Environment (Where and What You’re Born Into)
1. Country and region
2. Time period (e.g., 80s, 2000s)
3. Parents’ relationship and upbringing
4.Early childhood development
5. Religious upbringing
6. Cultural and societal norms
7. Economic status and opportunity
8. Access to healthcare and nutrition
9. Safety or exposure to violence
2. Biology & Body
10. Genetic traits and predispositions
11. Physical abilities or disabilities
12. Food tolerances and allergies
13. Chronic health conditions
14. Adaptability to training
15. Hormonal influences and aging
16. Propensity for addiction
17. Sleep, appetite, energy levels
3. Mind & Psychology (The Patterns and Wiring in Your Head)
18. Personality traits (extrovert / introvert)
19. Inner dialogue and thought patterns (e.g. self confidence, self-doubt)
20. Dreams and fears
21. Emotional regulation
22. Mental health (anxiety, depression, etc.)
23. Coping mechanisms
24. Cognitive style (e.g., detail-oriented vs. big-picture)
4. Identity & Expression (Who You Are and How You Show Up)
25. Gender identity and sexual orientation
26. Language and communication style
27. Core beliefs and philosophies
28. Sense of humor
29. Interpretation of life events
5. Relationships & Influence (Who Shapes You and How You Connect)
30. Parental figures and caregivers
31. Teachers and mentors
32. Friendships and peers
33. Romantic relationships
34. Books, media, and technology exposure
35. Sports and extracurriculars
6. Life Experience & Meaning (What Happens to You — and How You Make Sense of it)
36. Key life stages (childhood, adolescence, etc.)
37. Failures, successes, grief, breakthroughs
38. Trauma, loss, and transformative events
39. Personal narratives
40. Openness to healing and self-inquiry
There’s no silver bullet.
Healing and Growth takes time.
It takes curiosity, patience, and the courage to pay attention.
This list might feel overwhelming. But, like I learned from climbing a mountain every day for a year: everything starts with the first step.
There’s one constant in all of this: You.
The best gift you can give yourself right now is a Challenge Mindset — one that shifts you from trying to “solve” life into embracing the adventure of the journey.
You're on your own modern-day Hero’s Journey.
Now you can understand just what makes a human life so layered, so hard, and so full of potential.
And if it helps, begin each day with the Serenity Prayer:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.
Now you know what is impacting you — here are some resources to help you navigate your own quagmire of confusion, conditioning, chaos, and potential.
Resources to Grow Beyond Reaction
Not just for understanding, but for transformation.
1. Courses & Tools for Expanding Understanding
OpenMind (by Jonathan Haidt & team)
https://openmindplatform.org - A free, interactive program designed to help people understand others across political, cultural, and moral divides. You learn cognitive science, moral psychology, and real tools for dialogue.
The School of Life – Emotional Intelligence classes
https://www.theschooloflife.com - Bite-sized lessons on relationships, emotional maturity, and self-understanding. Great for people who don’t want heavy philosophy but need deep insights.
Greater Good Science Center (UC Berkeley)
https://ggsc.berkeley.edu - Courses and articles backed by psychology research — topics include empathy, awe, mindfulness, and bridging differences.
2. Books That Train Perspective & Compassion
“The Righteous Mind” – Jonathan Haidt
Why good people disagree on politics and religion; explains moral foundations theory and how we’re wired differently. (BONUS: “The Coddling of the American Mind - How Bad Ideas and Good Intentions Have Set Up a Generation”)
The Southern African philosophy that celebrates the universal human bond in this beautiful definitive guide, illustrated with full-color photos and filled with lessons on how to live harmoniously with all people.
“Nonviolent Communication” – Marshall Rosenberg
A transformative guide to listening without judgment and speaking with clarity and compassion.
“Radical Acceptance” – Tara Brach
Combines mindfulness and psychology to teach how self-compassion becomes the foundation for understanding others.
“The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture” - Gabor Mate
Over four decades of clinical experience, Maté has come to recognize the prevailing understanding of “normal” as false, neglecting the roles that trauma and stress, and the pressures of modern-day living, exert on our bodies and our minds at the expense of good health. Maté brings his perspective to the great untangling of common myths about what makes us sick, connects the dots between the maladies of individuals and the declining soundness of society—and offers a compassionate guide for health and healing
“My Journey Beyond the Summit” – Andrew Patterson A story about the transformative Power of stepping into the unknown.
3. Practices That Rewire the Mind
Mindfulness and Meditation Apps like Headspace train awareness, patience, and response vs. reaction.
Perspective Journaling Practice writing from the viewpoint of someone you disagree with. Ask: What are they afraid of? What value might they be protecting?
Circle Practice / Story Circles Community-based listening circles (offered in some local orgs or online), where people share without cross-talk or debate — just deep listening. (Search: “Restorative Circles” or “Story Circles”)
Challenge Mindset - The goal isn’t to eliminate challenges. It’s to become someone who can meet it with clarity, creativity, and courage. That’s the power of a Challenge Mindset. Email me to get a PDF to practice building this mindset.
4. People to Follow
Gabor Mate - Hungarian-born Canadian physician and bestselling author who specializes in addiction and childhood development. He's known for his work on the mind-body connection and the potential lifelong impacts of trauma.
Chris Williamson – his “Modern Wisdom” podcast states, “Life is Hard” so lets learn how to do it together - a refreshing honest perspective.
Andrew Huberman PhD – is a neuroscientist and tenured professor in the Department of Neurobiology at the Stanford University School of Medicine who has made many contributions to the brain development, brain plasticity, and neural regeneration and repair fields.
Dr Layne Norton - is a world expert in nutrition and fitness, coach, author, competitive bodybuilder and powerlifter. He doesn’t push any agenda or diet - he tells it like it is and calls bullshit on other nutrition “experts”.
What stood out to you from the list?
Did I miss something you think belongs there?
Which area are you being called to work on first?
Drop a comment below — I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if this resonated, share it with someone who might need to read it, too.
Remember: the journey doesn’t start when everything’s perfect. It starts when you decide to begin — right where you are
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