Bad days are just like commercials; they annoy everybody but eventually they go away.
Don’t you hate it when something goes wrong and someone says ‘everything happens for a reason’?
Yes they’re right – but it’s not what I need to hear in that moment.
The focus is largely always on the positive side of life, as if that’s the constant normal state that exists. The ‘bad days’ are neatly forgotten or ignored when they are an important part of our lives.
How do you generally feel about negativity or the ‘bad days’ you have? Most of us try and push through or suppress them and pretend everything’s ‘fine’. Get on with it, so to speak.
I know this. I’ve lived it, but the reality is we wouldn’t know what a good day feels like if we didn’t have the bad. We wouldn’t know what happiness is without experiencing sadness and pain.
I know what you thinking – do I really need to have bad days?
Short answer: yes.
Long answer: Try this
Get a blank piece of paper.
Draw a Y and X axis – 0 being sad and 100 happy on Y axis and 0 to 100 being years on X axis.
Think of your earliest happy memory and plot that.
Now think of a sad time after that and plot that.
What was the next happiest memory after that? Plot that too.
Keep going until the present day.
Welcome to the cycles of your life.
Point number one: Every bad experience is always followed by a good one. And visa versa.
You might still be asking ‘Yeah but do I really need to experience the bad??
If happiness was just dished out willy nilly no one would appreciate it. Just look at this planet we’ve been given: pollution and abuse run rampant.
Think of someone who just gives their children whatever they want whenever they want. On a scale of 1-10 rate how highly those kids appreciate what they have… or are they always asking for the next thing?
Life becomes easier when we accept there are going to be bad days; maybe weeks (Anything longer than that and deeper questions need to be asked – nobody is supposed to have sustained misery)
I’d like to offer you my tip when these bad days roll in.
Embrace them. Don’t fight it. If it becomes the absolute worst day ever, let it. Swear at the world if you have to. Curse everything and everybody out of frustration. Be the spoilt toddler that isn’t getting their ice cream.
It’s like doing a controlled burn so you don’t have a runaway fire later on.
Get. It. Out. Of. Your. System.
Deep down you know it’s not going to last and that when the sun shines tomorrow it will be better (even if its just a tiny bit) Allow yourself to feel what its like to be down, depressed, angry, hopeless, fearful and disillusioned.
You give yourself such a hard time when these days occur and feel you should push it down; put on a brave face and soldier on. Tell everyone how ‘amazing’ life is while secretly dying a slow death inside. I’ve even told a friend to rent ‘Schindler’s List’ just so she could cry even more and really release everything that was bottled up inside. (It worked by the way)
By embracing these days you allow yourself to move on quicker. All the while moving forward with less baggage. We’re ‘human beings’ not ‘human nofeelings’.
What have I learnt by doing this when others are having a bad day?
Too often we try (and I’ve been guilty of this too many times) and jump into solution mode. When actually maybe all they need is an empathetic ear to listen. I’ll never forget my mom telling me ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’.
Just remember there’s a difference between sharing and whining; this isn’t about having a pity party and bemoaning how tough your life is – because then the next question coming your way is: ‘okay, so what are you going to do about it?’
You have all the strength and power within you. Believe in that. Empower yourself when times are good so that you know you can make it through the bad ones.
You going to have another bad day. Make peace with that, and don’t get stuck thinking that it’s going to last forever. Who knows – maybe there’s a lesson in those days that will change your life forever.
You’re allowed bad days, so don’t be so hard on yourself when the next one rolls around. One magical thing this mind-set allows you is perspective; it allows you to look deeper at what is happening and why.
After all; everything that happens to us is based on a decision we’ve made at some point.